just fucking cook

reasonstofreezetodeath: Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies What We...

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 21:48:28 -0400

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies What We Just Done Made

1 cup crisco brand butter flavored shortening
3/4 cup white (beet) sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup applesauce (we used cinnamon applesauce and it came out delicious)
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups vegan chocolate chips

*the only questionable thing about this was “natural and artificial flavorings” listed in the ingredients, but according to multiple blogs, these natural ingredients do not include anything dairy, as it’s one of the big allergens that people have reactions to, and thus if dairy products WERE included in the ingredients, it would have to have a “may contain milk products” warning or whatever.

PUT INGREDIENTS IN BOWL
STIR
BAKE AT 350 for 8-12 MINUTES
DEVOUR

THIS POST MAY CONTAIN VEGAN CUPCAKES

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 03:19:00 -0400

hi! today i am going to share with you a ridiculously easy recipe for PROBABLY VEGAN PUMPKIN CUPCAKES. my girlfriend and i made them. well i say “and i” but i mostly took pictures while she did all the work.

what you will need:

one (1) can pumpkin (generally called pie filling but the ingredients list on our can said “pumpkin.”)
one (1) box “spice” flavoured cake mix (this is where the PROBABLY vegan thing comes in - ours said MAY CONTAIN MILK INGREDIENTS but didnt really have anything listed that could be a milk ingredient. duncan hines is definitely vegan.
one (1) thing frosting. most commercial frosting is vegan, if you dont mind lipids in a sugar matrix.
a cupcake tray
those cupcake things. to make them cupcakes.

directions!

PLACE PUMPKIN IN BOWL

ADD CAKE MIX

WORSHIP MONOLITH

MIX THAT SHIT ALL UP!

PUT IN CUPCAKE THINGS (this part is kind of a pain, this shit is gooey.

BAKE AT 350 FOR LIKE 18 MINUTES OR UNTIL A TOOTHPICK COMES OUT CLEAN

FROST! GARNISH WITH CINNAMON!

NOM ON THAT SHIT!

super easy, SO delicious. thanks to my lovely girlfriend for showing me the light on this one

lentil kale curry stew stuff i dunno

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 17:04:00 -0400

7 cups vegetable stock
1 lb kale
2 cups lentils
2 carrots, chopped all rough-like
other veggies! potatoes would be good i bet. and squash. and just whatever. whatever you have lying around. it would all be good.
some kind of sweet onion, roughly chopped
1 tbsp curry
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp turmeric
1 tbsp dry mustard
1 tsp cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste

bring veggie stock, kale, and lentils to a boil. turn down heat, add the rest of the ingredients, stir, and let simmer for an hour.

thats it! costs like 3 or 4 dollars and BOOM a gallon of stew.

im going to be eating so much of this over the next semester because i will be so poor.

edit: i somehow missed ~~frankih’s~~ yan’s post about lentil stew

this is a lot like it except maybe a bit easier! and SO GOOD MY MOUTH IS ORGASMING RIGHT NOW not to slight frankih’s soup but DANG

We don’t usually do a lot of reblogging for this (I think...

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 16:31:55 -0400

We don’t usually do a lot of reblogging for this (I think the one other time was also me, actually, I’m not sure if Elen approves), but HOLY MOTHER OF GOD JUST LOOK AT THIS

I think I’m going to make those chocolate and peanut butter chunks and just eat them on their own.

evaspence:

HAZELNUT BUTTER ICE CREAM WITH A CHOCOLATE ALMOND BUTTER SWIRL AND CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CHUNKS

I made this ice cream this week, I ain’t no food blogger so the picture isn’t very pretty (and taken on my phone) but this was incredible!

Chocolate PB Chunks

150g Dark Chocolate

3 Tablespoons Chunky Peanut Butter

A handful/to your preference roasted salted peanuts

Melt dark chocolate, stir through peanut butter until it’s melted and well incorporated, stir through peanuts. Scoop mixture into chocolate cup moulds and put in the fridge to set.

Hazelnut Butter Ice Cream

1 1/2 Cup Non Dairy Milk (I used soya, but nut/oat milks would also work)

1 Carton Alpro Single Cream

3/4 Cup Brown Sugar

1/4 Cup Hazelnut Butter

1 Can Full Fat Coconut Milk (placed in fridge over night)

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

Add non dairy milk, alpro cream, hazelnut butter and sugar to a saucepan and melt in sugar over a medium heat. Transfer to a bowl and refrigerate until cold. Hazelnut butter may separate but this is fine, you’ll be mixing again soon!

Scoop out the cream from the top of the coconut milk and add to the bowl with vanilla extract, whisk to combine everything until no lumps remain.

Transfer to your ice cream maker and follow manufacturers instructions. Whilst it’s churning make your chocolate almond butter and chop up the PB Chocolate chunks into quarters.

Chocolate Almond Butter

3 Tablespoons Almond Butter

1 Tablespoon Cocoa

1 Teaspoon Honey/Agave Nectar

2 Tablespoons Non Dairy Milk

Combine all ingredients into a jug and stir, cover and microwave to melt for 1 minute and stir again until well mixed.

TO ASSEMBLE!

Scoop enough ice cream out to cover the bottom of your container and then dot your PB choc chunks across this layer, I used about 1/5th of what I had made up. Then drizzle your Almond Butter mix over this layer, scoop some more ice cream over and keep layering up!

I made just over a liter of ice cream and it ONLY JUST fit into a liter container. I let it freeze over night but I think it would eat better a couple of hours after it’s been made because it was kinda icy over creamy, delicious nonetheless!

Attempted Lentil Soup This ended up way thicker than I intended,...

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 08:01:32 -0400

Attempted Lentil Soup

This ended up way thicker than I intended, a bit more like Dhal, but I wasn’t trying to make one and I don’t know what is actually in one besides lentils, so I’m not going to make any claims I can’t back up.

Ingredients

Some potato. About as much as in the picture, although this ended up making shitloads.
A big carrot
Spices. Not a fucking clue what spices I used anymore, my usual approach is “whatever smells nice”. Although there is clearly some paprika, cumin seeds and black mustard seeds in that photo. And I think I remember using galengal (the light brown one). You’re on your own for the dark brown one though, unless it’s garam masala.
Vegetable stock
I have no idea how much lentils I used. That much. The amount in the picture.
Some onion and garlic.
White wine

Instructions:

Make vegetable stock - either use cubes, or boil some of the bits of vegetables you’re not going to use in a pot for a while (carrot tops, onion roots, keep some things from other recipes, maybe throw in some other things just because they’re nice like spices or herbs or whatever. I think I threw in some dried herbs and curry leave that I had).
Chop the potatoes, carrots, onion and garlic.
Put all the spices in the pot and gently heat them. This is supposed to make them better but I honestly don’t know how much difference it really makes.
Throw the onion and garlic in the pot with the spices and some oil, and fry them gently for a while. The spices ended up soaking up all the oil so I added some white wine to stop it all sticking, and also because I figured that would be nice.
When the onion and garlic looks cooked, put in the carrot, potato and lentils, and stir it around like that for a little while. This is another thing I always do and never know if it makes a difference.
Drain the stock into a jug or another pot, then pour it on top of the potato, carrot and lentil.
Boil it until the lentils are cooked (My packet said 45 minutes, which is bullshit, it didn’t take longer than half an hour.
When they’re done (the carrots and potatoes should definitely also be done by then, unless you just threw them in whole or something) blend it - either let it cool a bit and put it in a blender (you may have to do this in batches) or use one of those hand blender things if you have one.
Serve. I served it as soup the first time, then gave up and admitted it really wasn’t soup and served it with rice like dhal the next time I had it.

This made absolutely shitloads. Four servings of lunch, and I still have at least three in the fridge. It’s good, though! If you want a more soupy consistency, keep an eye on it and when the stock boils down, add some water (or more stock if you have it), and it should end up much less thick.

Ok, blogging time! I have been kind of leaving this blog to Elle...

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 16:00:57 -0400

Ok, blogging time!

I have been kind of leaving this blog to Elle over the past while, out of a combination of not cooking much, cooking to recipes I read (which feels like cheating to post here, unless I adapted them a fair bit) and usually defaulting to pasta.

Telling you all how to cook pasta feels a bit like telling you how to tie your shoelaces, you know?

So think of this as more of a serving suggestion, and I won’t feel quite as patronising. And to undermine that, this one has lots of pictures! Just be glad I didn’t upload the ones of pasta in the pot. This one isn’t vegan, but could be pretty easily adapted.

Spaghetti with peas, courgette and cream.

Ingredients (as pictured)

Most of a packet of spaghetti
Half an onion
2 cloves garlic
250ml cream (probably a little less than this, I used what was left in two cartons. One of them was double cream, which is slightly better for sauces, but more expensive. Or also, use a vegan cream substitute.)
Half a courgette*
A large handful of frozen peas*
Mint

(some people have Strong Opinions about what pastas go with what sauces. If you’re thinking ‘spaghetti doesn’t go with cream sauces!’, please picture me going “TTTTHHHHBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPTTTT” and making a wanking hand gesture at you.)

I chopped some courgette up like you can see in the first picture, mainly because that’s quicker than cutting it all into round slices. These slices actually turned out to be a bit too thin (also, not enough). I put them in a bowl with some oil and tossed them around till they were coated, and put them on a baking tray like in the second picture, then put them under the grill on a high heat, because I was impatient.
I put the pasta on. Just follow the instructions on the packet, and check it a couple of times a minute or two before it says it’ll be done, if you are actually not finding this recipe really condescending.
Chop half an onion, one or two cloves of garlic, and as much chili as you think you need. This was a pretty strong chili (it’ll be cropping up in just about all of the recipes I’m about to post), so I only used this much. Go by personal taste/strength of chili.
Fry them with a little oil on a low heat.
Keep an eye on the courgettes while you’re doing all this. When they look like in the next picture, they are done, or if you’ve cut them a bit thicker than I did, they could get a bit browner (the edges of mine were starting to shrivel and burn).
When the onions and stuff look nicely cooked, add some cream (or vegan cream substitute. My girlfriend always uses Soy Dream, if that is available where you are). Cook it a bit so that the cream reduces and gets more saucy (don’t worry if it bubbles up a lot) (hey this is something I learned cooking in a real restaurant and is maybe something not everyone knows? hurray! something actually useful!)
When the cream has reduced a bit, throw in some frozen peas. More than in the picture, that turned out not to be enough.
When the peas have defrosted, chop up the courgette a bit more so it spreads around. Throw it in with some chopped mint (which I didn’t take a picture of because come on).
At some point during all of this, the pasta will be ready, so drain it, put it back in the pot and keep it handy.
When the courgette has warmed back up, throw the sauce into the pot with the pasta, mix it around and serve.

*The ingredients above made about five servings (some of the servings were small, though, probably four full servings), but like I said, I ended up adding more peas and it could’ve definitely done with more courgette.

black bean hummus

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:55:55 -0400

it’s fucking hot out

if you live in the general vicinity of the ENTIRE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE (i assume) you know this.

so here is some nice, refreshing, don’t gotta put any effort in, black bean hummus.

i mostly made it because i have no garbanzos left

anyway you will neeeeeeeeeeed:

1 can black beans
1 clove garlic, minced
1.5 tbsp tahini
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne

that’s it.

drain the beans, but maybe save the bean juice for if yours turns out too dry. mine didnt, fwiw. just blend that shit together in a food processor.

the great thing about this stuff is you can either nudge it in the direction of vaguely mexican with more spicy spices or maybe even some cilantro (GET WHACKY!) or you can nudge it towards mediterranean with, i dunno. olives or some shit. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.

anguish guacamole

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 02:06:00 -0400

i was really depressed just now and needed food

there was nothing to eat but i had all the recipes for guacamole

not sure if it was the anguish or what, but it’s the best damn guac i’ve ever made

i used:

3 medium avocados
1 medium red onion
1 medium tomato
the juice of 1 medium lime
dried cilantro leaf, buttload (this was all i had)
salt, buttload
black pepper, buttload
valentina extra hot picante, to taste

cut scoop out and mash up avocados

peel and chop onion

chop tomato

juice lime

fold all that shit together

sit in the dark, munching away, letting the salt from your tears further flavour the tortilla chips you dip

into

your

guacamole

…of anguish.

oh shit these veggies are about to go bad! chili

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:19:00 -0400

so i have a fridge full of veggies

but i’ve got me a new ladyfriend and we’ve been seein’ eachother im spending all my time with her (hurrah gloating) and so i havent been cooking much. so these vegetables (and other things) are going to waste. mostly weird stuff:

summer squash (2, i used half of one)
zucchini (same as above)
some okra (a fair amount, chopped up)
a few softish tomatoes (maybe half a can worth)
a portabella head (huge)
a block of tofu i froze, then put in the fridge to unthaw, then forgot about for a week (12 oz.)
some sweet corn (2 ears)

sounds like it would make a good stew! or better yet, some chili! so i threw in:

2 cans red beans 1 can black
a half can more of tomatoes (totalling about an entire can)
black olives
1 small can chipotle chilies in adobo
1 cube veggie bullion
an onion
a buncha garlic

sautéed up the onion and garlic until they were delicious, popped everything in a pot on high, got it going then left it on low for 3 or so hours, stirring occasionally.

it is

fucking

good.

for spices, i used a touch of cayenne, a buttload of chili powder*, cumin, some huy fong chili garlic paste, because that is how i roll, and salt + pepper.

Figure 1.1 - Notice how the crackers and olives are set in the chili in such a way that it is pleasing to the eye! this is called “plating” and frankly the author doesn’t give a shit about it.

*this is largely because i failed to notice that the chili powder thing did not have a shaker cap on it and most of the contents of my chili powder thing ended up in the chili, which was annoying to get out.

iholdnothing: last one i promise (Taken with Instagram) this...

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 19:52:59 -0400

iholdnothing:

last one i promise (Taken with Instagram)

this is what that falafel recipe ends up looking like when you actually have a food processor.

omg seriously so good try it.

hummus!

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:16:00 -0400

hummus is dead easy.

i don’t have a food processor which would help. but i DO have a blender. here is how to make it with a blender. you will need:

1 can (16 oz/400[?]ml) garbanzo beans
1/4 cup of bean water from the can
1.5 tbsp tahini
2-4 minced cloves garlic, depending on taste
3-5 tbsp lemon juice, depending on taste
salt & pepper to taste

obviously this is pretty basic. you can fancify it with whatever you like, basically. if i wasn’t making this at 10 at night because of a weird craving, i would have picked up some roasted peppers and sun dried tomatoes.

but here’s how it’s done:

pour beans, tahini, bean water into blender
blend it until smooth-ish. to do this i kept changing the speed and tilting it one way or another. it’s a pain but it’s possible.
add in the rest of the ingredients, keep blending for a while.
enjoy!

it took me 15 minutes to make and then devour most of this. hummus is crack.

Elle mentioned not knowing what to do with chipotles in adobo in her last post

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 19:44:49 -0400

Elle mentioned not knowing what to do with chipotles in adobo in her last post:

And I remembered this recipe for smoky sweet potato hummus. I haven’t actually tried it because chipotles in adobo is not particularly easy to get in Ireland, but it sounds amazing.

slow cooker chipotle tvp chili

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 19:30:00 -0400

i keep forgetting to take pictures of like, the actual steps of cooking these things so here’s another one of me eating it. it’s fucking delicious, btw.

here is what you will need

2 red onions, chopped (they dont have to be red but i bet its yummier)
2 tbsp olive oil
like 6 or 8 cloves of garlic, finely chopped or minced (your call, depending on how much you like garlic)
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp sugar
3/4 tsp oregano
salt, to taste
pepper, to taste
cayenne, to taste
2 14 oz (400 ml) cans of your preferred chili beans (i used a can of kidney beans and a can of aldi brand chili beans because that is all i had laying around) drained and rinsed
2 14 oz (400 ml) cans diced tomatoes
1 can of chipotle chilis in adobo, put em on a plate and slice em up
4 tbsp lentils
1 cup textured vegetable protein flakes
some of your favourite hot sauce, to taste
1 1/2 cup (375 ml) water
maybe some other ingredients if you want. i had some baby bellas left over from the other week so i chopped em up and threw em in because why not? you could probably add a little corn or just about anything that would be good in chili.

this is a modified recipe from thriftyliving, since i didnt have any peppers other than a can of chipotle in adobo that i didnt know what else to do with. here is how to make it:

chop up the onions and sauté them in olive oil on medium low until they are starting to get soft (should take 5-10 minutes, took 10 for me since my range sucks)
add the garlic into the onions and continue sautéing until the onions are totally soft
add the cumin, chili powder, cayenne, salt, pepper, oregano, paprika, sugar, etc. to the onion and garlic mix and stir until its all coated and whatnot.
drain and rinse the beans, and put allllll of this shit into the slow cooker.
cook on low for 4-6 hours.

garnish with daiya or vegan sour cream or some chopped up green peppers.

enjoy!

windsdarkpoem: NOT YO CHEESE it is a clever name is it not? it...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 20:08:07 -0400

windsdarkpoem:

NOT YO CHEESE

it is a clever name is it not?

it is made of:

1/4 cup flour

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

1 1/2-2 tbsp vegan margarine

1 tsp salt

some garlic powder (maybe a little less than 1/2 tsp?)

1/2 tsp chili powder

1 tsp salty salt

1/2 tsp yellow mustard

some black pepper

some hot sauce (your favourite, i used valentina’s extra hot and threw in some huy fong garlic chili sauce for good measure)

other stuff you might want to add to it (tomatoes, jalapenos, etc)

HOW 2:

melt margarine on low in a small sauce pan

while margarine is melting, combine all dry ingredients

whisk water into dry ingredients, NUKE THOSE CLUMPS

mix in the mustard and shit, whisk more

pour whiskedmix into the pan with the (hopefully melted) margarine

if your margarine has not melted, turn on your stove

stir this stuff on medium until it gets as thick as you want it

do not be perturbed by the appearance, it does not actually taste like what you are probably thinking it looks like.

i literally cannot stop eating it. its not the real thing but it is

a.) probably healthier
b.) the best you are going to get when you cannot eat lactose for health reasons

Vegan sausages, made from scratch

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 17:08:00 -0400

So, I, too, forgot to take photos for this, but for reasons that I will elaborate on below, they didn’t exactly end up looking very appetising anyway. They were delicious, though!

My girlfriend got a new cookbook recently that had something like this recipe in it. It was so simple that I didn’t even write it down. The short version is:

1x400g tin Cannellini Beans (although whatever you can get will probably work)
Some Onion
Seasoning
Combine ingredients in blender, put in fridge to chill for 3-4 hours (so the mixture firms up a bit), make into sausage shapes, and bake (in retrospect, how long and what temperature would have been a good thing to write down, but this isn’t a soufflé we’re talking about here. “Until they look done” will be fine).

Read on for exactly what I did; the problems I had with it and how I tried to solve them; and what I served them with:

Ingredients:

2x400g tins Cannellini Beans (this made about 12 reasonably-sized sausages, to feed four people).
Half a small onion
A clove of garlic
A lump of chili, how big will depend on how hot your chilies are/how hot you like things
Cumin
Fresh parsley
Probably some other spices; my usual approach is to throw in whatever smells like it might be nice.

Chop the onion, garlic and chili a little so it’s easier for the blender.
Throw everything in, and blend until it’s smooth.
Put the mixture in the fridge for 3-4 hours, or if, like me, you make the mixture in the morning and realise you have nothing that would go with the sausages that night, and then go out to dinner with your dad the next night, 2-3 days. In theory this makes the mixture get firmer and easier to work, but:
The mixture is still really sticky and gooey, and very difficult to make into sausages. I stirred two big tablespoons of flour into it, which made almost no difference. I was eventually able to make sausages by rolling them on a very floury surface, adding more flour a good few times when the mixture started to stick. A big tablespoon of mixture rolled out into a good sausage size.
I put them on a greased baking tray and stuck them in the oven at 225 degrees (which was entirely arbitrary). The mixture was still really gooey, so they spread out and flattened in the oven. I flipped them, lowered the heat, and cooked them a bit longer. I really didn’t pay attention to how long this took, but they didn’t burn quickly at all, so just keep an eye on them. The good news is the mixture does eventually firm up in the oven, and the outsides go nice and crispy, so they’re much easier to handle. And it didn’t stick to the greased baking tray, which was a relief.

Frying or grilling them would have been a more sausage-y way to cook them, but they would have fallen apart completely. I’m not sure what would be the best way to make the mixture firmer (which, if nothing else, would make it a lot easier to work with it). Maybe a good bit more flour, or even some breadcrumbs might work!

With the sausages, I had:

Mashed potatoes:

Chop a large potato per person and then a few extra into as small chunks as you can be bothered (the smaller they are the faster they’ll cook, but the longer you’ll spend chopping. Swings and roundabouts!). Put them in a pot, cover them with boiling water, bring back to the boil, and boil until you poke a fork in them and they seem done (the good thing about mashed potato is it doesn’t matter if they’re a little overdone).
Drain them, put them back in the pot, and throw in a splash of (soya/rice/almond) milk and a big lump of butter (/fake butter/maybe olive oil and salt?) and mash them with a potato masher. Or if you don’t have one you can use a fork, but good luck with that. If you have a big kitchen mixer you can put them in that after you get it started but I am not writing the sort of blog that assumes people have things.
Seriously, a lot of butter. Fuck your heart, you’re doing this the proper Irish way. You are going to be putting more butter on them when they’re served, too.
Most people would also add salt and pepper but I usually don’t when I’m cooking, because I have a bad habit of adding it anyway when it’s on the table.
I didn’t do it this time but adding some wasabe to mashed potatoes is fucking amazing.
Also, I was a long way from being bothered to peel the potatoes but if you really want to make an effort, you should. Supposedly most of the nutrition is in the skins, but see above comment re: butter.

(Not Really) Mushy Peas:

Proper mushy peas are made with marrowfat peas (which are starchy, not sweet) from a can, but I had this in a restaurant the other day and it was really nice.
I used about a full bag of frozen peas and it was barely enough for five people.
Shitloads of mint
More butter (of whatever variety).
Boil the peas for however long the packet says (probably only a couple of minutes).
Drain them, then throw them in a blender with the mint and butter (or if, like me, you have one of those handheld blender things and not a normal blender, back in the pot).
Blend until smooth.
Serve.

Gravy:

Make the gravy from the packet because although for obvious reasons they don’t like to advertise this fact, it is 100% vegan.
Unless it isn’t, I’m talking about Bisto gravy here, but if that’s not the default gravy where you are, check.
Or you could probably make gravy from scratch but give yourself a break, this meal is already a lot of effort. Also, I don’t know how, so you’re on your own.

Put the sausages, peas, and mashed potato on a plate, pour gravy over everything, and serve. You could also get some mustard for the sausages, but I didn’t think of this until too late.

Despite the difficulties, and probably not turning out all that authentic in texture, the sausages turned out delicious! If I make them again, though, I will try to see if I can make the mixture firmer.

vegan hummus (or hummous or humous or humerus) pizza

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 20:22:33 -0400

so i totally forgot to take any pictures of this but it’s easy

you will need

pizza crust/pizza dough/a pizza crust like object
some hummus. enough to cover your pizza shaped thing. i had a decent sized (16”) pizza crust and used an 8 oz tub of aldi generic roasted red pepper hummus and it worked fine.
vegetables. whatever you like, really. i used summer squash, zucchini, portabella caps, onions, black olives, spinach, and tomatoes. and maybe some more stuff i don’t even fucking remember. lots of stuff.
spices that you like. i doused it in sriracha and threw on generic “italian seasoning.”

steps:

cover pizza-object with hummus
cover hummus with vegetables and spices
throw it in oven. the temperature/time will vary, i made dough and put it on a 16” or so pizza bakin’ sheet and baked it at 375 for 20 minutes.

obviously, without cheese it wont be quite as cohesive as cheesy pizza, but it’s easy enough to eat and REALLY delicous. the hummus makes it perfect.

ridiculously easy bread

Thu, 31 May 2012 19:06:15 -0400

irrationalignorance:

justfuckingcookorwhatever:

For non-Americans: the thing with a recipe like this is that it doesn’t actually matter what size cup you use (it took me a long time to figure this out) so long as you use the same cup for every ingredient. It’s all about proportions!

this is maybe why everyone in my family laughs at me when i try to cook because i don’t know simple stuff like this. APPARENTLY I AM JUST SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS KIND OF STUFF

To be fair, it is possible that I am wrong about that, and if the recipe contains something you can’t measure with a cup like an egg, it probably does matter what size the cup is!

That is why one baking tip that my sister learned once and has mentioned to me is that you should weigh your eggs, and then you can adjust the proportions of everything else to match! Because if you think about it, eggs can come in all kinds of sizes. Speaking of baking and my sister, I should see if I can get her to write something for this blog. And also probably explain the egg-weighing thing a bit better.

So I was a little torn about reblogging this, because this is...

Thu, 31 May 2012 18:25:32 -0400

So I was a little torn about reblogging this, because this is supposed to be a vegetarian/vegan blog, but Megan Gedris is awesome and this is exactly our style of recipe. So I settled for crudely editing it, because these sound kind of amazing.

rosalarian:

~~Chicken~~ Cupcakes

All measurements are approximate because measuring cups are for suckers.

The cupcake part:

1 pound ~~raw ground chicken~~ your favourite chicken substitute.*

1 egg. A big one. **

Maybe 1/2 cup of bread crumbs? I dunno. Mix some in until it soaks up a lot of the gooeyness.

Onions, either fresh and cut up tiny or the dried minced kind. I used the dried kind. Add however much onions you personally like.

Garlic, again either fresh or powder

Black pepper

Paprika

Some kind of ~~Poultry~~ seasoning, I don’t know. Whatever smells like it would taste nice.

Basil

Oregano

All of those spices to taste, because I don’t know your tongue.

I know your mom’s tongue.

Preheat the oven to 350F/175C.

Mix all of those things in a bowl.

Grease a cupcake/muffin tin. This is gonna make 6-10 cupcakes, depending on how full you fill those cups. I filled my cups like I fill my bras, about halfway full.

Bake for 15-20 minutes. I don’t know how hot your oven gets. I know how hot your mom gets. Seriously, I think she has a fever. Get a therMOMeter. ~~Also, get a meat thermometer, because it’s a handy way to tell if meat is done cooking. Chicken has to be 165F/75C to be safe~~. Irrelevant. You are probably going to defrost your “chicken” first though if that’s what you’re using. Either in the microwave or brown it up a bit in a frying pan.

The frosting part:

3 tbsp brown sugar

a big squeeze of barbecue sauce

a big squeeze of ketchup

a tiny squeeze of dijon mustard

some black pepper

some garlic powder

Stir all that up. When the cupcakes are cooked through, apply a dab of this “frosting” to the top of each one and smear it around until the whole top is covered. Then put it in the broiler for a couple minutes so it can get all glazey and delicious.

Let it cool, or you’ll burn your tongue and you won’t be able to taste it properly. It tastes good by itself, or you can put it on a bun with some Muenster or Gouda cheese*** and have the best sandwich ever. Which is what I did, and I ate that while writing this, just like the Earl of Sandwich intended.

* I use Quorn but it isn’t vegan. Maybe you can find one that is? Or just use tofu, although the texture won’t be as fun.

** I don’t know a way around this myself, but I’m sure there is one. There is such a thing as egg replacer, but I think that’s more of a texture-for-cakes thing, whereas this is probably to bind the breadcrumbs.

*** Well, you know. Or not.

Spicy Scrambled eggs and gourmet baked beans

Thu, 31 May 2012 07:53:32 -0400

Yan told me I should submit this because I won’t shut up about it. Yan has never had it because he doesn’t like scrambled egg because he’s a freak. The gourmet baked beans are his mix.

This makes enough for me for breakfast, you could share and eat more toast. I dunno, I’m not skinny ok? I wouldn’t eat all the beans but I put left overs into the fridge and eat later.

take 2 eggs and crack into a jug.

Add a splash of milk, I go by colour of the mix. Light yellow egg colour?

Add a small bit of butter.

Add salt and pepper. To make it spicy add season all. It’s a spice you can buy in the supermarket. If you don’t have that I used to add black and red pepper mix plus chilli flakes.

Melt some butter in a pot till its fully melted but not bubbling or anything. Just runny. Add egg mix and cook.

The best baked beans are:

Gourmet baked beans

Chop an onion, a clove of garlic and lightly fry. Add grated ginger and pour in a tin of heinz baked beans (cause they’re the best) and heat. Sometimes I add chilli, I love spicy food ok?

Serve with toast, veggie sausages (Make your own with cannelloni beans or powder stuff you can buy in health food shops or use Linda McCarthy not Quorn I don’t like them) and a pot of Barry’s tea. If it’s not Barry’s don’t drink it.

So there is a breakfast of veggie champs.

ridiculously easy bread

Wed, 30 May 2012 15:57:24 -0400

Ok so this recipe is pretty shamelessly stolen from a cooking show on youtube that Steve Albini linked to on his food blog (I fucking know, right? Steve Albini! Food blog! Totally gonna steal some of his vegan/vegetarian recipes and post them here at some point) but from what I can tell, the chef basically tried to replicate some Tibetan bread by stealing a traditional Irish thing called griddle bread. So, seems fair enough for me to steal that shit back. I would link to the video, but I forgot to bookmark it.

Anyway your ingredients are:

1 1/2 Cups of flour (normally I would use grams to measure a solid like a normal person, but this was an American recipe and to be honest it’s so simple and proportional it’s not worth converting.)

1 cup Water

1 tsp Baking Powder.

For non-Americans: the thing with a recipe like this is that it doesn’t actually matter what size cup you use (it took me a long time to figure this out) so long as you use the same cup for every ingredient. It’s all about proportions! I used a mug, and it made enough for two batches in a medium-sized frying pan (oh that’s right I forgot to mention, you make this bread in a frying pan. So if any of you don’t have ovens, you are in luck! You can still have home-made bread!)

Step 1: mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Nothing fancy, just throw them all together and stir till they’re mixed. It’s supposed to be pretty thick and gooey, although when I did it in retrospect I would have added a tiny bit more flour.

Step 2: heat a generous amount of oil in a frying pan (butter would be delicious, but ~~would probably start to burn~~ this is a vegan-friendly blog). Pour some dough into the pan and spread it around (how much you use will depend on the size of your cups/frying pan. Like I said, I used a pretty standard mug and a medium sized frying pan, and about half fit in).

Step 3: The only even slightly fancy part: sprinkle a little oil on top of the dough for when you flip it, and then pour a spoonfull or two of water around the sides of the dough. Apparently this helps it cook.

Step 4: Cover the frying pan with whatever you have handy (this is why I used a medium pan, the biggest saucepan lid I have is way too small for the biggest frying pan). An actual lid would be easiest what with having handles, but if you don’t have one, you could use a plate or something. Just be prepared for it to be really frustrating every time you want to check on the bread. Cook on a medium heat for ten minutes. For reference: my electric cooker goes from 1-9 and 7 was too hot; next time I’d go for 5-6.

Step 5: In theory, flip and cook for a further five minutes. In practice, it cooked way too fast on the first side so I ended up flipping it at about 7.5 minutes and turning down the heat for the other 7.5. Interestingly, the same thing happened on the youtube video, so I don’t know who that chef thought he was fooling.

And that’s it, it’s that simple. It doesn’t rise a huge amount, it’s basically a flatbread, and it has a fairly doughy texture (I think if I throw in that extra bit of flour next time it might be breadier, but my mother tried some and said it was exactly like griddle-bread is supposed to be). I covered it with ~~butter~~ vegan butter substitute and served it while it was still hot.